moving on

A little help from Will Smith in his Fresh Prince days....

Now this is a story all about how
My life got flip turned upside down
And I'd like to take a minute
Just sit right there
I'll tell you how I became a mom in a town near L.A. 

Do you need a second to read that again?  You read that right.  We are moving.  Southern California. 


Let's recap for a second...

We left Boston for Jim to pursue a career with BNSF.  Leaving Boston was one of the hardest things.  I moved around a lot as a kid and felt a deep connection with the city and being on my own in charge of my life.  I loved my friends, our house, my job, and life in general.  It was comfortable, it was easy, it was fun.

We moved to Nebraska.  Before finding out I was moving there I couldn't even tell you where exactly it was.  Made new friends, got a new job, life was good.  Heck the welcome to Nebraska sign says "the good life."

Then BNSF moved us to Kansas City.  We moved to Kansas City at maybe the hardest time in our marriage.  Our house in Nebraska sold so fast, we were in the midst of an adoption that was falling apart, and we left everyone that supported us through the whole journey.  We lived in an awful apartment (it was fine, but we had NO furniture and 1 pot and 1 pan  and an air mattress and our clothes) while we searched for a house.  We found a church.  A good one.  A community of really really great people.  People that were there while our adoption got back on track, people that came to the airport when Oliver and I made it home from Russia, people that realized we are alone out here in the middle and always made sure we had a place to go for major holidays, friends that took Oliver at a moments notice and kept him for days while I was at the hospital having Lydia, and friends who just like playing games and eating my food.  Life is so sweet here.  Kansas City is truly a hidden gem...if they only had an ocean. 

But my silly husband is just too talented a railroader to be left alone here to plug along moving trains.  He is smart and talented and people take notice.  When people notice then it's time for a new job, a new challenge, and in this case a new state...California. 

First I must say that I do get the final say in these matters.  Jim fully understands the "happy wife, happy life" motto.  However, I know there are worse places the railroad could ask us to go...I won't list them but there are a TON of places I'm not willing to move to.  Is Southern California my ideal spot?  Ummmm have you met me?  Probably not ideal, but we are going to make it work.

A few positives....
*You can fly anywhere from LAX and lots of places are cheaper than Kansas City
*Closer to Hawaii
*They have an ocean...I haven't even been to that ocean yet.
*There are a ton of fun things in that area that I'm sure the kids would love and would guarantee us visitors.  Hello DisneyLand and Sea World and The Pacific Coast Highway
*It always looks like you're on vacation..I'm rallying for a house with a palm tree.
*Tickets to the Ellen Show!  Who is coming with me?
*I get to order a new state print form my favorite JHill Designs
*Lots more to blog about.

The negatives...
*These shall not be mentioned





The time line....
Mostly unknown.  Once our house is appraised and BNSF approves Jim for the moving package then he can start the job.  He will head off to California, buy a car (why did we sell our extra car?), find an apartment, and get to work.  I'll stay here as long as it takes to sell the house, then drive over with the kids and some things that the movers won't take...mostly kids and plants.  At some point we will buy a new house, then sometime in June I'm running away to Massachusetts with the kids for Jim's cousin's wedding....Jim is coming too, but I see us staying there a good long while (I should probably tell my in-laws) while we wait for our stuff to be moved into our house, nothing is known for sure at this point, but that's a guess.  Eventually, Oliver will go to first grade (August) and I'll try to find a new nanny job, but it looks like we are taking the spring/part of summer off to adventure around the country and settle our lives.  

Welcome to the next part of the adventure. 

Happy 4th Family Day!

Some adopted kids talk about adoption.  They ask questions, they express previous loss, they have memories.   Oliver isn't one of those kids.  He knows he's adopted. He knows he lived in an orphanage and that orphanages are not as good as families.  He knows he hasn't always been with us.  He knows that Lydia's story is different than his. 

Right now, at this moment in his life all that just doesn't matter all that much.  It doesn't matter to him who is adopted and who isn't, it doesn't matter that his start wasn't ideal, and it doesn't matter that he didn't grow in my belly.  Oliver is too busy with a whole host of other things like; kindergarten, wiggly teeth, riding his bike, eating three helpings of pasta for dinner, avoiding chores, negotiating for more ipad or TV time, trying to find kids at the park that will play tag with him, gymnastics, sitting by the fire, reading, snacking, building train layouts, keeping Lydia away from his toys, drawing, homework, wondering when the next time we will be flying Southwest is, running, cheering on the Patriots, checking out 20 books about military equipment from the library, and demanding I read them all. He loves life, he's all in, and we are so lucky he's ours. 

Our favorite boy has been out of his orphanage for 4 years, and we can hardly believe it's been that long or that we've been parents that long...crazy. 

To celebrate his 4th Family Day he requested to..

-Go to the childcare center at the community center while I exercise (his exact words)
-Go to the indoor pool at the same place
-Have dinner at Chili's (last year he requested a fancy italian place, he's diverse)

He also used his Family Day leverage at Whole Food to get me to buy him some chocolate milk, "you say we can get it for special occasions."

Now a few adorable photos.  You've seen them before, but whatever.

referral photo
I wish I got to snuggle this little thing

first visit

waiting for Russia to let us come get him

 

February 7, 2011
Peace out orphanage

February 17, 2011

Oliver is awesome.  All the people that came around us before, during, and after our adoption...they are awesome.  Thanks for being wonderf

gene checking

My grandmother died from untreated breast cancer when she was in her 60s, and I was three.  My mother fought through breast cancer when she was in her 40s.  My odds seem high and that's super scary.  I'm young with two young kids, and breast cancer, or really any cancer, is pretty high on the list of "crap I'd rather not have to deal with."

This morning I'm going in for a blood draw.  A blood draw that will be used for genetic testing to see if I have the BRCA 1 or BRCA 2 genes which deal with breast and ovarian cancers.  Neither my mother of grandmother had this test so we are unsure if our family breast cancer is inherited or just a mutation that my mother and grandmother both happened to get. 

Basically, there are a few possible outcomes...

1. I have neither gene
2. I have one
3. I have both

One gene increases the risk of breast cancer and the other the risk of ovarian cancer.  There are a number of possible courses of action after the results of this test are discovered, but I'm not 100% capable of explaining them and plan on meeting with a genetic counselor to wrap my head around all the options...unless of course I don't have this gene then I'll skip off into the sunset and pray my normal genes don't start mutating and turning against me.   

So today's awesome schedule

blood draw
lydia's speech therapy
dentist appointment to fix my chipped tooth (randomly lost part of my front tooth while driving yesterday morning)

jealous much?

four years post court

Four years ago (yesterday) we crammed into a little court room and requested that a Russian judge please please allow us to be Oliver's parents.  I felt calm in my head.  I knew we did everything we could.  Jumped through every hope in front of us and all that was standing between us and Oliver was this judge.  My head was calm, but my heart was week.  I answered my questions in a voice I tried so hard to keep from shaking.  Over and over again I tried to explain why we were adopting and not having a biological child.  After 20 minutes, that felt like an eternity, the whole thing was over.  One moment we are not parents, and the next we are...that's just crazy.






Well, the judge said yes, so I suppose I was a parent then, but then I had to wait ten days...which was actually more like 13.  Thirteen days is a long time to be alone in Siberia and it's a really long time to be told you're a parent, but you don't actually have said child...sigh.   I slightly regret not requesting to stay in the town near his orphanage, but I didn't want to rock any boats.  I just went along with the plan and made the most of my time in Kemerovo. 

Had Oliver not been adopted, this is the year he would have moved from the baby house to the real school aged orphanage and there his odds would have dropped even more.  I wonder about those other kids in some of Oliver's orphanage photos, were they adopted by Russians, by others, or have they moved on to the big kid orphanage?  Who is loving on them?  Keep praying for Russia.  The adoption ban is totally lame.  There are hundreds of thousands of kids waiting to be adopted and the number is only growing. 

Happy 2nd Birthday, Sweet Lydia!

Lydia turned two on December, 6th and we celebrated with a pancake and pajama party!  I decided on a pajama party because Lydia just loves wearing her suits (footy pjs).  It's an issue trying to get her dressed in the morning, then at nap she insists on getting back into her suit before laying down. 

Party planning began with a search for the perfect invitation.  Etsy never disappoints.

we snapped a little PJ picture for the back of the invite

then we had these customized for Lydia and printed at office max-depot
adorable!

 Instead of a regular cake I made a bunch of cinnamon rolls in the shape of a two...well, it looked more two-ish pre-baking.  Those things really rise! They rose so much that some started falling off the pan and on to the bottom of the oven, slight disaster.  You could easily use pre-made ones form the store or from the can cinnamon rolls but I used this recipe which was perfect in the bread machine. 

 Despite plenty of advanced candle blowing practice Lydia froze in the moment and had to get a mommy assist with the candles.  After singing and blowing out her candle we all feasted on

buttermilk pancakes with syrup and sprinkles
mini quiche 
a fruit platter
leftover blueberry breakfast cake from Grammy's birthday celebration
the most amazing little brie and bacon cranberry tartlets..just go make them, so good
Orange juice, cranberry juice, coffee, and fancy flavored local milk

 Lydia got a set of magnatiles and a light panel for her birthday.  I had it set out for her when she came down in the morning so she could play before the party started.  It was a big hit with all ages at the party.  We use the magnatiles almost daily, they are such a fun building toy.

 

Thanks to everyone who made Sweet Lydia's day so fun and special.  

-----

Lydia is a classic toddler.  She loves to climb everything.  Her favorite perch is on the counter next to the sink.  She enjoys knocking down Oliver's building projects while in mid construction.  Her favorite words are "No, Mine, Mama, Yep." She loves water..bath, shower, sink, pool, puddle, etc.  Running away from me in the Target parking lot is her main life goal with trying to jump out of the cart at Target coming in at a close second.  She likes playing football with her daddy and snuggling with her mama...then seconds later trying to dig my eyes out with her sharp little claws.  Lydia also loves doing her homework while Oliver does his, she uses her markers to scribble all over her paper, herself, the table, and occasionally on Oliver's homework...his teacher is understanding. 

We love Lydia and can't imagine our life without her, 2 already, wow.  Looking forward to the adventures that the year ahead will bring. 

-----

On Monday December 8th, Lydia went to the doctor for her 2 year check up.  The doctor's office just isn't Lydia's favorite place. 

Are you ready to get out of the stroller -no
Let's lay down to get measured -NO (35inches, though I question the accuracy)
Can you stand on the scale and see how much you weigh -NO WAY!!
Let's sit on the baby scale -well the screaming shows she has good working lungs (27lbs)

Okay, we need to take some clothes off so the doctor can check your body over -yeah, that was fun

Clothes back on, sitting on mama's lap, chatting with the doctor.  The doctor and nurses were impressed with Lydia potty training herself, but the doctor was concerned about her speech.  I knew there would be speech concerns, that's why I got her tested by the infant toddler people and she's receiving services.  I thought that might be enough for the doctor, but the doctor gave her a referral to go get assessed by the speech department over at Children's Mercy, she was also given a referral to get assessed by the folks over at the Leann Britten Center.  The Leann Britten Center usually helps children with more special needs, and after talking to them we've decided to wait until after getting the results from Children's Mercy before we decide if we need their help also.  For now we will continue working weekly with our speech therapist.  Lydia is improving.  She is starting to babble more, speak without being told to, and use more words and less grunting to get her point across.  Her little voice is so cute.  My favorite thing she says is "mine mama" meaning that's my mama, you'd better stand down. 

cold sore treatment

Oliver has had of history of getting pretty yucky cold scores around his lips.  I'd try to treat them with various over the counter stuff, extra fruit and veggies, other random home remedies, but we've always had to turn to an anti viral prescription from the doctor because they would just keep spreading. 

Pinterest, where all good comes from, told me that I might be able to prevent or treat cold scores using tea tree oil or melaleuca as it's called by the DoTerra folks.  Tea tree oil is a natural anti viral.  So, I find someone who sells DoTerra and place an order. 

So the oil arrives (this is months ago) and I get a little roller bottle from whole foods.  I add fractured coconut oil to the bottle and about 20 drops of melaleuca.  I roll this concoction around Oliver's mouth a few times a month in hopes of it preventing an outbreak.  I may have gotten lazy, or maybe I lost the roller, or maybe Lydia hid it, or Oliver flushed it, no I just got lazy...it happens.  Last week I noticed the little tell tail spot on his lip yelling "warning, warning, a cold sore is coming" and it did.  Rumor has it the tea tree oil could fix this so I put it on.  I mixed one drop tea tree oil and one drop coconut oil in my hand and rubbed it all over his lip area, often.  I really, didn't want to have to call in the script for the anti viral.  Know what, the tea tree oil really worked, the spreading stopped and the affected area scabbed over.  I'm still putting the oil on twice a day and some aquafor once a day, but it looks like we are in the clear this time. 

I just treated a problem naturally and saved a bunch of cash.  Good times. 

23 months

Sweet Lydia is going to be TWO next month.  What? 

Lydia is a joyful, fiercely independent, quiet, loving, playful, girl.  She adores Oliver, milk, dogs walking down the street, books, play dough, snuggles, and climbing. 

flashback

A few of her current favorites...

Helping herself to the milk in the fridge, instead of trying to chug it from the jug she now brings me all the supplies (milk, cup, lid) and I help her pour it, then she puts the milk away.  Her other favorite fridge treats are clementines, usually eating 3-4 a day, and peanut butter, which she enjoys eating by the spoonful.  Yum.

Potty training herself.  Yep she did it, just like that.  Over the past couple weeks she's hard only one daytime accident, that was today while we were outside, she just got caught up in the fun.  Lydia still wears a diaper at night but only wets about 3 a week.  I'm trying to get her to say the word "potty" or something to indicated that she has to go, so I can help her, but she usually just goes and does it herself or just lifts her shirt or dress up to let me know she needs help.  This is all very shocking to be because I wasn't even going to think about this until she was 3, but whatever, if you're going to do it yourself, you go for it girl. 

Climbing! Swinging! Sliding!  Lydia loves the park.  Climbing all over and sliding down the slides herself.  She can even ride our zipline the whole way down holding on all by herself...she is her brother's sister. I'll probably sign her up for gymnastics in the next few months. 


Doing her homework.  Oliver spends a few minutes in the morning or after school working on his school work or sight words and Lydia takes that time to get out her little school caddy and do some drawing.  Typically the drawing starts on the paper then morphs into her drawing on her feet or legs.  Whatever, it's all fine motor practice, right?

Lydia still isn't saying much and receives weekly speech therapy, we are only on week two, but it seems to be going well.  The therapist gives us a little assignment and then we work on it during the week.  I find the balance a little tricky.  The therapist wants me to make it so that Lydia has to talk to get things done, you know, make things harder for her to get to so she has to talk to get them.  I like that she is independent and tries things for herself and moves chairs around to reach stuff, so we find other places where she needs to talk.  Over the past week we worked on saying "down" so I could put the car window down for her.  We also worked on choices.  I give her two options and she answers as to what she wants...it usually doesn't sound much like either choice, but hey she's using her voice to make stuff happen.  

 My favorite thing about Lydia, she always wants more and more is one of the most clear words she says.  More hugs, more milk, more climbing the tree, more riding down the hill, more playing, more singing, more milk, more books, more, more, more.  She loves life and to explore and her family. 

She's our sweetest girl.