Let's back up to last night. I think "oh yeah I need to sign Oliver up for a sibling class, I think he would enjoy that." I go online and see when it's offered, oh it's offered on Tuesday evening, great. Jim's going to be home late from a trip to Texas, so I'll take Oliver.
I drive to the exact address where it says the class is held. Oliver and I run in because it's 6:25 and class starts at 6:30, and I can't be late. The lady at the desk has no idea what I'm talking about or where the class is. She calls security, they give directions, doors are locked, up stairs, down stairs, huffing and puffing as I drag Oliver around. We finally locate the class at 6:40, and I hate being late. How did these other people find it?
The instructor is nice and informative. However, there is a slightly obnoxious 4 year old who is winning Oliver over to the dark side. He manages to make it through without too many issues. We tour the hospital, we see a baby in the nursery, and I note how to leave the place so we can get out easier then we got in!
Class ends, we leave, we stop at the bathroom, and suddenly everyone is gone. I walk to the door to get us out of the basement and up to the main entrance, it's locked. Try the elevator, it's not going anywhere. We walk on and finally make it to the outside world sadly, this part of the outside is NO where near where we parked. We wander for about 20 minutes trying to locate the car. I keep Jim on the phone with me while we walk because I've seen too many episodes of Criminal Minds.
Made it to the car, hang up, buckle Oliver in, and go.
Down the street a bit (6ish miles) and at a red light. I reach to my purse to get my phone to call my friend Audrey and complain about the insanity of hospitals, why are they so maze like? Can't feel my phone, light turns green, starting to feel nervous, pull over into a parking lot, no phone in my purse, no phone in my car, no phone at all.
Drive back to the hospital, because if it's not in my car maybe it's around where I parked, I mean I was on the phone while standing at my car. I'm crying, Oliver says "I'm looking mama, I'm looking." We make it back to the parking lot, drive all over very slowly like super creepy folks, no phone. This can not be happening! I drive slowly with my high beams on from the hospital back to the place I pulled over, then I give up and drive home praying that I find my phone hiding somewhere in my car.
Meanwhile, back at home...
Jim's on the phone, a runner called to say he found my phone. Jim asks where's my wife? The guy doesn't know where I am, he just knows he found my phone in a ditch and wonders what to do with it. Jim asks him what intersection he is near. The runner tells him and that specific intersection is NOT on my way home and not a place I would need to drive to get home. Jim asks if he can leave the phone at the hospital, and the runner agrees. However, Jim's in disbelief that the runner found my phone and not me, and wonders why my phone was found about two miles from anywhere I should be, and so he calls the police. The police haven't seen me. He calls hospital security and they haven't seen me.
I make it home a sobbing mess, but the news is good for both of us...my phone was found and Oliver and I will not be written into the next episode of Criminal Minds. Jim drives back to the ER and picks my phone up.
I'll never go to sibling class again, it's too stressful.
ukelele 
