Orphan Sunday

On Orphan Sunday, Christians stand for the orphan. We are a people called to defend the fatherless…to care for the child that has no family…to visit orphans in their distress.

The numbers are staggering, especially when they are counting human lives...even more so when used to describe the lives of babies, children, and teens.  Sometimes you just have to step back from the numbers and focus on the small little thing that you can do...even if your little thing seems so insignificant, they are actually huge!  pray, offer support, or go adopt.

Oliver was one of those millions of orphans.  He was one of hundreds of thousands in Russia.  At his orphanage he was one of 150, with only six caretakers.     

Now, now he is just our special one.

I don't know what the future holds for us.  Will we adopt again?  Will we foster?  I'm not privy to that information yet.  However, what I know right now is that once you've been educated about adoption, or read a ton of adoption blogs, or been to an orphanage, or you've seen a kid's life path completely redirected because of adoption, you can't just keep it to yourself. 

We've been blessed to be able lead a 7 week DVD series called "If you were mine" at our church starting mid November.  It's a comprehensive course going though many aspects of adoption starting with deciding if it's right for your family all the way to welcoming home your child.  

If you live in the KC area and are interested in joining us, let me know and I'll get you all the details!

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A little about our "call" to adopt.  

Some people think about adopting when they are kids.  Some couples talk about adopting when they go through pre marital counseling.  Some struggle with fertility and turn to adoption.  Some have 17 sons and just want a daughter.  Some are faced with an empty nest, and aren't ready for that. Many do a lot of research, some research for a year or more.  It doesn't really matter what your reason is but we were none of those people.

We attended a Tenth Avenue North concert in September of 2010, they had a set change and during the change they were encouraging people to support a compassion kid...you know, $1 sends Jose to school, gets him new cloths, food, medication.  We didn't support Jose or any of this friends, but we heard the message, just as we did a million times over at Christian concerts and on TV commercials.  

But somehow something was different, somehow that little and very familiar pitch settled into our hearts.  That night or the next day or something like that Jim mentions "what about adopting a kid?"

"Okay"  "Yeah" "Let's do it"   That's me.  I'm a fast decision maker.  Once I heard adoption I was all over it.  That's what we were going to do. 

That was mid September, late October we traveled home to Massachusetts and told our family and friends we were strongly considering adopting a child from Kazakhstan, by the start of December we were signed on with our agency and things were moving...we were going to adopt a kid.

However, we are teaching this "If you were mine" adoption course because we realize most humans actually like to know what they are getting themselves into and feel educated about the process.
So join us!

halloween

It's not just trick or treating on Halloween night.  It's boo at the zoo, fun at church, a parade at school, a sugar coma, followed by an evening of trick or treating.

fun at the zoo

parade at preschool

pumpkin carving drilling

getting ready to go trick or treating

last year...we were both smaller!

 

tipping point

When you have a biological child that child has been yours since their existence.  They were yours before you even knew you were pregnant.  It's a little different when you adopt.

When you adopt you're child comes with a history that you don't know about.  They come with months, or years of a life that you weren't apart of.  A different family, a different culture, different routines, a different country (sometimes), that's just how it is. 

However, eventually, there is a tipping point...or maybe it's just something in my mind.  See today marks the day that Oliver has officially been with us longer then he had lived in Russia.  Longer then he lived with him bio mom and longer then he lived at the orphanage.  I became his legal mother when the Russian court said so, I felt like his mama a few days after picking him up, but now, I don't know, I guess stake my claim in terms of time...finally.  But isn't it a little bittersweet?  Doesn't it feel like he's been living here forever?  All that time he was here is just a day more then he was getting by in Russia.  It is what it is, it's our special story.  We are thankful for the time we've had together, and we look forward to so many many more adventures.

nursery

Does a baby need a nursery before they show up or even 6 months into their life?  Probably not.  However, we've got the space, and I'm not busy chasing a preschooler and nursing an infant, so now seems like a good time to get it together.  More importantly I despised the paint color in our guest room and was really exciting to have a good reason to change it.  Jim had different thoughts...but we paid to have it painted, can't the baby use it the color it is.  Umm no, that color is going.  I was forced into it by our painter and I hated it!! 

When we first moved in, not bad.

After it was painted, blah

The other side with the cheap Ikea dresser
I destroyed that dresser while pumped full of steroids
during the rash portion of this pregnancy

         

 We are not finding out the gender of our baby, I can't resist an awesome surprise.  I also like that not knowing the gender means I don't have to be forced into a pink princess room or some sports themed boy room. 

Here is a picture of Oliver's room, which I also
think is fairly gender neutral.

Baby's nursery, painted the same color as
Oliver's room

 It's not totally finished.  Maybe I'll make a mobile, hang a mirror over the dresser, and add a few more book ledges...but it's getting closer.

Shopping list
-Crib, overstock.com (http://www.overstock.com/Home-Garden/London-Euro-style-Matte-White-Stationary-Crib/5997989/product.html)  I spray painted all the black screws white, so they wouldn't stand out
-Chair, grandmother
-Dresser, craigslist
-Curtains, Ikea
-Shelf, book ledges, picture frames, Ikea
-Changing pad & cover, bed sheet, Amazon
-Embroidery hoops, yard sale
-Fabric, Urban Crafts
-Crib Skirt, fabric from Joanne's
-Paint Color, Atmosphere from Restoration Hardware...color matched in Olympic paint at Lowe's 
-Books, donated by Oliver...learning how to share

P.S. Is baby Tylick going to be a boy or a girl?  Vote on the top right of the page! 

getting educated

Here we are at three-ish months to go until baby #2 makes his or her entrance.  It's time to figure this thing out, or at least figure how to get it out.  Yes, I realize that humans have been doing this since there were humans and we are designed to do this, and blah blah blah, but a little education can't hurt...right?  Plus, why isn't some sort of education required before having a kid?

To adopt a Russian Jim and I had to log 10 hours of education each.  Book reports, online lectures, etc.  That requirement is way more intense these days.  These days, ha, that makes it sound like we adopted ages ago...things just change so fast. 

Anyway, Jim and I signed up for a course through our hospital.  It's a five week course that goes through pre-labor, labor, delivery, natural measures, medication, a tour of the hospital, newborn care basics, and Jim even gets to wear "the belly."  Fantastic.  I'll keep you on the edge of your chair waiting for that photo. 

We had our first meeting on Monday.  I didn't think it was too intense.  Jim said "oh my, there is so much to know."  Oh, let me clear things up for you Jim.  When I say lets go to the hospital, you drive me there.  Once at the hospital you continue to follow my instructions.  At least that's what I gleaned from the class.

Besides this five week basics class, we are going to take a nursing class and Oliver is going to take a sibling class.  Sure, he had like 149 "siblings" back at the orphanage, but that was awhile ago, he needs a refresher.  

shower time

Ah the preschool/elementary school "walk of shame."  You know it.  It's when your kid comes home in that extra pair of clothes that you sent in for accidents.  In my history as a kindergarten teacher the most popular accidents include...

-peeing or pooping in your pants
-drama at the water fountain or sink
-inability to open your milk at lunch thus resulting in a milk explosion
-other lunch related issues
-mud or water found outside at recess or on a nature walk
-sudden rain storm while navigating the streets of Boston
-snack issues
-paint problems
-puke
-bloody nose


There may be more, but at the current time I can't think of them.

Anyway, I went to pick Oliver up from preschool today and he was wearing "those clothes."  I ask, "Oh man did you forget to pee in the potty?"  Nope.  "Did you have a hard time eating your yogurt snack?" Nope.  "Did you get messy outside, did you do messy art, did you have a problem at the sink?" Nope. Nope. Nope.  I turn to his teacher.  Then she tells me a reason I've actually not come across.

HE PUT HIS HEAD IN THE URINAL WHILE SIMULTANEOUSLY FLUSHING IT!!!!!! 

That's right, my kid took a shower in the urinal.  His teachers says "He really likes water." 

Yeah I know.  Maybe I went a little overboard with the whole "tub is not torture" series back in 2011.

good mom?

really?

I keep seeing these signs popping up on Pinterest and Facebook and they annoy me every time.  I want to have a clean house AND a happy kid and I kinda think that kids actually like living in a clean semi organized space.  When Oliver gets too many toys out in his toy room, he will stop going in there until we put everything away and "reboot."

I think the sign is implying that happy kids have mommies that play with them and aren't all consumed with housework. True.  I spend a lot of time with Oliver.  We read stories, we build stuff, when it's under 90 million degrees (rare) we play outside, and we also clean together.  After all, doesn't your daughter want a husband that knows how to separate laundry and work a vacuum?  Shouldn't a three year old be able to play on their own for 20 minutes while I clean out some science experiment growing in my fridge?  I actually really love listening to him play alone, being all chatty with his trains.    

Is the sign trying to make me feel guilty for having a clean house? Or is it trying to give others validation for having a messy one?  In either case I'm quite sure being a "good mom" is way more complicated.  Like way complicated.  


P.S. I put up a little poll on the top right side of the page.  Get your vote in.  Is baby #2 going to be a girl or a boy?