home

This day last year was the longest day of my life.  Literally.  When you fly east you just keep adding more and more hours to your day.  When your kid refuses to sleep it makes each added hour feel like three.  I have no photos to document our time on the airplane, I try to forget it!  Eventually, we made it back to Kansas City to Jim and a few friends waiting to welcome us home. 

 

   Feb 2011                                                 Jan 2012

 I don't normally wear Oliver in the front any more, he is too heavy...but I needed a photo!  We snapped that one when we got home from our cruise.  

-Here is last year's post about the trip home
-In case you missed it, here is a video review of our year

A year at home!  So crazy.  This shall be the end of the "this time last year posts"  thanks for bearing with me.  I had a really awesome time in Russia and I like remembering it.  Now we are on to a new year.  Looking forward to; celebrating Oliver's 3rd birthday, visiting grammy and pop-pop in Massachusetts, starting preschool, and all the other adventures before us. 

cloud dough

Have you made cloud dough before?  If not you must know it's totally awesome.  Sticks like wet sand, easy to build with, so simple to make. 

1 cup baby oil
8 cups flour
toys to play with

mix the oil & flour then play!

snow!

I'm feeling like a Southerner, excited about just an inch or two of snow.  Whatever, we will just have to take what we can get. 

I pulled out Oliver's snowpants that I found on sale at Target during a time when it was 60 and January.  I pulled out his boots we bought in Russia, nope, not at all anywhere near the size he was last year.  After work we stopped at Target for a new pair of boots (50% off) and a sled (30% off)!!  I wouldn't normally deem an inch of snow worthy of sledding, but it's been a boring winter and sledding is my total favorite.  Oliver quickly learned that sledding with mama is way more fun and much safer than trying to sled down the hill with dad. 

getting a ride from daddy

pulling dada

 

trying to play in the snow last winter, in moscow

on hold, again?

When I read these Russian adoption blogs I always think that the people that went in years prior to us had it "easy."  I would read the time line on the side of their pages.  Under a year from start to finish, an 11 month old, 10 day wait waived....amazing.  Now I look back at our process compared to those ahead of us and I know we had it "easy."  Two canceled trips, adoption by US citizens canceled, and moving mid way through the process...not a problem.  It's getting more difficult as time goes on.  

My friend Nancy texted me (I have text now!) and said she heard the end of an NPR story about Russian adoptions being canceled to US citizens again.  I love that my friend's ears now pop up when they hear adoption news!  I agree with Nancy, who would spend all the time and money to adopt a child and then be abusive to them, even abusive to the point of death.  Just seems so foolish.  There are ways out of an adoption that didn't "work out."

I tried to search around to see what she was talking about, but couldn't find anything this morning.  Then Jim emailed me a small article about what might be going on.  Just like when adoptions were canceled before it looks like stuff is put on hold until Moscow and Washington can decide on what can be done.  The article even mentions having a Russian monitor visit the home of the adopted child.  I get it.  I understand what they are trying to do.  You want to make sure that babies leaving your country are safe and cared for, after all international adoption is the last choice....just above aging out of the orphanage system.

I know Russia has been trying, but I think they need to work harder on the culture of children in their country.  Oliver is a perfectly amazing Russian child living in America and he would have been perfectly amazing living in Russia, had a Russian family given him a chance.  I'm NOT making excuses for the 17 dead children that the article mentions, there is no excuse for abusing or killing a child, but I know that the stats of children living a long fulfilling life after aging out of the orphanage system is pretty bleak.

We are just going to keep up with our post placement reports, taking all opportunities to brag to Russia about how awesome our kid is.  Prayers for anyone who is currently in the process and facing this hold, things will work out, because they have to. 

 

family day! 2-7-12

I can't say this for sure, but it's my guess that if you have a biological child their birthday is special to them, but also to you.  You must think about what you were doing that day.  If you expected that day to be your child's birth or if they were an early surprise or past due and induced.  You remember that moment you met him and when your eyes locked.  It's his special day, but it's yours too.  Right? 

Oliver's birthday is special, because they tell me he was born that day and that's worth celebrating.  However, I have no real connection with May 31, 2009.  I couldn't tell you where I was or what I was doing and I have been given no details of the day to share with Oliver either.  That's just how it is. 

However, today, today is special for our family.  Today Oliver left a life as being just another one to being part of a family.  Today is a day I can tell him about.  I know how nervous my stomach felt while I was eating breakfast at our little Siberian hotel.  I can tell him how happy I was to bundle him up (without snow pants), snap a picture with the orphanage director, and BUST. HIM.  OUT!  I can share with him how peaceful he looked while he slept right next to me that fist night.  How happy he was to eat.  How scared of the water he felt.  How so very many people helped us make that day possible.  Today, today is our special day!

Check out our year in review, right here.

During the adoption and all the waiting there were a handful of songs that would stop me in my tracks, songs that expressed how I was feeling better than I could ever write myself.  I must have listened to the song in the video over a hundred times before it didn't make me cry anymore.  "I'll be my brother's keeper so the whole world will know that we're not alone"  That's what adoption was all about for us.  We were a family with no child, and Oliver was a baby under-two-year-old without a family.  We are taking care of each other, just as it should be.



A shout out to the family from Malta who was with Oliver and I that day.  Congratulations!  Hope your year has been amazing!  Also, congratulations to Charlie over at  From Russia, With Love  I can't believe how much you have grown and changed this year!  Hope you have a special day with your family. 


----------
WARNING!  The following text is extreme gushing about the awesomeness of our kid.  Text like this is usually only suited for parents and grandparents.  Consider yourself warned.

Our year has been amazing.  We get asked a lot from doctors, caseworkers, and a few random people "are things going as you expected?"  NO!  Honestly, we expected harder.  Just like a biological kid you just never know what you are going to get.  Orphanage babies toddlers could have sever attachment issues, a long list of health concerns, social issues, and a million other things we read about and tried to prepare for.  Oliver just needed a family, something more to eat, freedom to make choices, and a gym membership.  He is so awesome he doesn't even break when he accidentally falls out a second story window...they aren't all made like that.  (or so I tell myself) 

vocab and such

Thanks for your comments on the does he know post. 

I'm glad the preschools asks, but I would agree with you all who said it's a bit young to actually understand the word adoption.  We have a picture story book that shows baby Oliver, some pics from the orphanage and we talk about how baby Oliver use to live in Russia then mama came to Russia to help Oliver get home.  
--------
In other news, learning a language is hard work.  Oliver is trying so hard to talk more and to speak in fuller sentences, it's funny.

-Oliver do you want to go play with Marcus and Wesley today?
-Yes, I am
-Say "Yes I do"
-Yes I do!

-Oliver are you feeling sleepy after all that jumping at MyGym
-Yes, I do!
-Say, "Yes I am"
-Yes I am

-I sneeze or cough
-Mama, are you okay?  Okay mama?
-Yes, thanks (how did you get so nice?)

"Go Patriots"  -yeah let's forget that one for awhile :(

His favorite farewell is "see you later, have great day at school"  -not everyone is going to school, but it's so adorable



He now likes to say the dinner time prayer.  He usually sticks with "dear Jesus, for our food, amen" or "dear Jesus, for our day, amen" The other day he said that then looks up at his food and said "dear Jesus, for our pancakes, amen"  Way to be specific!  Then he went on and ate about five of them. 

He has also perfected counting to 10 and recognizes most capital letters and maybe 75% of the "little" ones.  Colors are still soooo hard, but I think he has mastered green and orange. 

-----

Tuesday is our first family day at home.  We are excited to be celebrating a full year together.  Tune back in tomorrow, and bring a tissue.... 

does he know?

I can't believe it, but it's almost preschool registration time.  We picked a school we like, we visited, and are getting ready to fill out the necessary paperwork to be handed in on February 13th.  One of the forms is an "about your child" paper.  What fears does your child have?  What do they like to do? You know, the normal kid stuff.

Then the form asks, Is your child adopted?  Do they know?  Hmmmm, Yes! and yes?... 
I remember watching shows or reading books about people finding out they were adopted at some older age in their life then being destroyed by the news, but it seems to be different now.  Adopted kids, especially internationally adopted kids know they are adopted, but do they KNOW they are adopted at age 2 or 3.  I would say no.  I talk about Russia, and baby Oliver living in Russia, and the orphanage, and mama/dada coming to Russia to see Oliver and then to bring Oliver home, but I assume he just thinks that's how life is.  For all I know he believes that babies come from Russia!  And they do! 

So I'll answer Yes and Yes to those two questions but I have  a question for you...

What have you told your 2, 3, or 4 year old about adoption and about their story?