I can't believe it, but it's almost preschool registration time. We picked a school we like, we visited, and are getting ready to fill out the necessary paperwork to be handed in on February 13th. One of the forms is an "about your child" paper. What fears does your child have? What do they like to do? You know, the normal kid stuff.
Then the form asks, Is your child adopted? Do they know? Hmmmm, Yes! and yes?...
I remember watching shows or reading books about people finding out they were adopted at some older age in their life then being destroyed by the news, but it seems to be different now. Adopted kids, especially internationally adopted kids know they are adopted, but do they KNOW they are adopted at age 2 or 3. I would say no. I talk about Russia, and baby Oliver living in Russia, and the orphanage, and mama/dada coming to Russia to see Oliver and then to bring Oliver home, but I assume he just thinks that's how life is. For all I know he believes that babies come from Russia! And they do!
So I'll answer Yes and Yes to those two questions but I have a question for you...
What have you told your 2, 3, or 4 year old about adoption and about their story?
Then the form asks, Is your child adopted? Do they know? Hmmmm, Yes! and yes?...
I remember watching shows or reading books about people finding out they were adopted at some older age in their life then being destroyed by the news, but it seems to be different now. Adopted kids, especially internationally adopted kids know they are adopted, but do they KNOW they are adopted at age 2 or 3. I would say no. I talk about Russia, and baby Oliver living in Russia, and the orphanage, and mama/dada coming to Russia to see Oliver and then to bring Oliver home, but I assume he just thinks that's how life is. For all I know he believes that babies come from Russia! And they do!
So I'll answer Yes and Yes to those two questions but I have a question for you...
What have you told your 2, 3, or 4 year old about adoption and about their story?
I tell a story to Grace at bedtime that pretty much just covers the basics right now. Beautiful girl in Russia, Mom and Dad that wanted a baby girl, flew to Russia, etc. I've never used the word adopted??? Should I???? I have no idea. My plan is to elaborate on the story as she gets older. Add details that help tell her story.
ReplyDeleteLike Jeanette, I tell a simple story at the moment that is sweet and fun and happy. As she gets older I'll share more. When she is 16, i plan on letting her in on all the details and letting her read it for herself. I often share stories about Russia if something comes up and reminds me of my/our time there. I used to think I wouldnt want to go back until she was in her teens....but maybe one day sooner than that we can go visit. Who knows...
ReplyDeleteDoes he has an adoption picture book that you made? I've read about it in one of the attachment books. 3 photos. His referral photo, where he's alone - the first picture of you together- and I think a photo of you 3 at home.
ReplyDeleteI'm elaborating a little and adding a photo of the orphanage exterior. And another of us on the plane.
The experts in the book claim that will help. I don't know, I'm just a parent heading to court in a week that has read a pile of books. I do doubt that my bio kids would have grasped that at 3. However, when my oldest was 3 9.11 happened, and she grasped more than I would have thought. (And tried to protect her from).
Ask him I guess.
Denis, my 3 year old, told me today that one of the day care workers has a baby in her tummy (to keep the baby warm according to Denis). As we drove home I talked about his birth mommy and about me coming to Kazakhstan to meet him. Does he understand, I doubt it
ReplyDeleteWe've been home 3 months with our 2 boys from Russia. I just sent in an application for our oldest (3.5 years old) to go to preschool next fall. He talks about airplanes EVERY.SINGLE.DAY. We have used his intrigue with airplanes to re-tell the story of how we all came home together as a family, but if he really understands the word "adoption", probably not yet, but he has some context/reference to the concept right now. We showed him photos of Russia and the orphanage when we got home, but like clock work, every time we showed them to him he would have nightmeres that night. I've held off on showing him pictures until he wants more info.
ReplyDeleteWe tell Tommy frequently about "Once upon a time there was a little boy named Tommy . . . ." We tell him basics, lady who could not take care of any baby at that time, went to live with another family until he could home with us, came home and is our son forever. He does know and recongnize the word adoption. I'm not sure how much he really understands, but he can fill in most every part of the story himself.
ReplyDelete