Every mom is different, every mom has her own style, I found my opposite at Oliver's gym class the other day.
Towards the end of class the kids have a separation time. The moms back up and the kids play with each other. I knew this one mom-son combo was new this week, so I thought I would chat with her. The opening question in these situations, as I've learned, is "How old is your son?" Let's call her Martha (I got a chance to watch the Martha show today, so I've been thinking about her)
Martha -25 months, which one is yours?
Me -He is the one wearing the Red Sox shirt.
Martha - I can't believe we haven't been to this place, it's so close to our house.
Me -Oh, we really love the class it's a lot of fun, the instructors are awesome, and my son has gained a lot of confidence in his gross motor skills. (A LOT)
Martha -Well this place looks pretty safe, like he can't hurt himself. I'm really nervous about him getting hurt. I'm a stay at home mom and we really stay at home a lot. I think he has speech delays because he is never around other children.
End of separation time, I go assist Oliver in the cleaning process.
I don't know her past or her story, or anything, but the conversation posted above. For some reason this was on my mind all day. I'm not nervous about Oliver getting hurt, bumps and scratches don't scare me. I mean we don't spend our days chasing tornadoes, when he escapes the front door I always scoop him up quickly, and when food is too hot I tell him to blow on it....safe enough, right? I let him climb on things at the park that two year olds don't normally climb on, he uses knives in the kitchen and stirs food that is cooking, he runs on hard surfaces, and uses a trapeze bar without a mat under it. Living on the edge?
Is it my personality? I'm generally a "things are going to be fine" kind of person. Wait the psychologist called it Pollyanna. I'm a Pollyanna. Is it that Oliver is a daredevil and I can't imagine squelching it? Is it the adoption, is it that I didn't start with a breakable baby? Is it that he made it through so much already what's a kid at the gym going to do to him?
Who are you? A Nervous Nelly? A free spirit? A hobbit? A helicopter? Or a Pollyanna like me?
Towards the end of class the kids have a separation time. The moms back up and the kids play with each other. I knew this one mom-son combo was new this week, so I thought I would chat with her. The opening question in these situations, as I've learned, is "How old is your son?" Let's call her Martha (I got a chance to watch the Martha show today, so I've been thinking about her)
Martha -25 months, which one is yours?
Me -He is the one wearing the Red Sox shirt.
Martha - I can't believe we haven't been to this place, it's so close to our house.
Me -Oh, we really love the class it's a lot of fun, the instructors are awesome, and my son has gained a lot of confidence in his gross motor skills. (A LOT)
Martha -Well this place looks pretty safe, like he can't hurt himself. I'm really nervous about him getting hurt. I'm a stay at home mom and we really stay at home a lot. I think he has speech delays because he is never around other children.
End of separation time, I go assist Oliver in the cleaning process.
I don't know her past or her story, or anything, but the conversation posted above. For some reason this was on my mind all day. I'm not nervous about Oliver getting hurt, bumps and scratches don't scare me. I mean we don't spend our days chasing tornadoes, when he escapes the front door I always scoop him up quickly, and when food is too hot I tell him to blow on it....safe enough, right? I let him climb on things at the park that two year olds don't normally climb on, he uses knives in the kitchen and stirs food that is cooking, he runs on hard surfaces, and uses a trapeze bar without a mat under it. Living on the edge?
Is it my personality? I'm generally a "things are going to be fine" kind of person. Wait the psychologist called it Pollyanna. I'm a Pollyanna. Is it that Oliver is a daredevil and I can't imagine squelching it? Is it the adoption, is it that I didn't start with a breakable baby? Is it that he made it through so much already what's a kid at the gym going to do to him?
Who are you? A Nervous Nelly? A free spirit? A hobbit? A helicopter? Or a Pollyanna like me?
Trisha ~ I am totally a Pollyanna! My kiddos did (and still do) have bruises, bumps, scraped knees and huge smiles on their faces. I just wish I could be as fearless as they are! =)
ReplyDeleteI'm pretty fearless. I get a little nervous around other kids because 1-I don't want to look like the idiot mom and 2-I don't want my kid to hurt the other kids. Otherwise I pretty much let them do what they want. The thing is, Owen isn't as fearless so I don't have to worry much. Amelie on the other hand - she's going to be the one with broken body parts.
ReplyDeleteI am like you... I figure falls, bumps, bruises are normal. Heck we already have had a scraped elbow and knee from a forward splat while running to the park!
ReplyDeleteIf it isn't going to poke her eye out, or choke her, I let her explore it, I explain it and the rules associated with it. Granted she doesn't understand much, but it's like she understands when I say it. Maybe I'm delusional?
P.S. I finally got your adapter in the mail! Sorry it took forever!!!
I'm going to give my opinion and say that it's more the "how" you parent than anything related to adoption or daredevils or whatnot. I'm like you- we jump on beds and climb trees and skate without knee-pads. We cook and jump off the rocks into the pool, and have water fights on the porch. My philosophy has been (for example, about jumping on the bed) I'd rather be there when he (and now she) does this kind of thing so I can show them the right way (like, stay away from the edge of the bed!) than for them to do it when I'm not looking and then they get really hurt, or think they got away with something crazy. Now granted, each of my boys have had stitches twice and Jack, our oldest has had a buckle fracture in his wrist, but they're kids having fun and we try to minimize this kind of thing the best we can by teaching them about wise choices. Our oldest (Jack) was what I called (when he was little like O) my no-fear kiddo. He'd climb anything, jump off anything, could fall and skin his knee to the point of bleeding and just get up without a flinch and run off. I was never a *Shock* breathe-in-a-gasp Mom when my kids did something crazy or fall down. And really, I think it has given each of them a sense of adventure and true childhood!
ReplyDeleteLife is too short to be afraid and Oliver (like all of our adopted kids) and birth kids too, have a lot of catch up experiences to learn. The CEO was not the kid that had the helicopter mom. You learn by doing, by bruising, by running through the fields, by stomping in the mud. Most importantly, we learn by failing. In my opinion, not allowing the opportunity to fail, creates a greater failure. You'll far less regret the things you did than the ones you wish you had tried.
ReplyDelete